The greatest American Industry

This is what I want to do:

I want to download the transactions from last year into a program. I want the program to take all the transactions and sort them by categories such as 'date', 'amount', 'vendor', etc. Once sorted, I want to select all transactions by a particular vendor and assign them a tax category.

I would also like to choose the size of the type used in the program to make it easier to read. Apparently, all such features are impossible to include in a single fucking application. I've spent hours registering in support forums, chat rooms and 'knowledge bases' all to no avail.

Here's what I'd rather have done:

The government stops extorting my money and leaves me the fuck alone.