From last evening until early this morning, I've been pleasantly inebriated, although the memory of my activities is as surreal and fading as a dream.

I'd taken my last ten-spot and gone to the Circle Bar. In order to save money, I drank a good deal of Sake before I left. This isn't I know, a productive coping strategy, but well ... I pride myself on consistency. Still, I suspect at some point I'd fallen to the level of "rat-bastard".

I know I wrote something like a love poem on a napkin and handed it to a woman who knows I'm interested in her. There was a band playing very loudly so a verbal approach wasn't practical. I watched her read it, but when finished, she didn't look around to see where I might be. Nor could I gauge her reaction to it. She didn't throw it away either but, she may have decided that I'm a stalking psychopath and she'd better hang on to some solid evidence.

I smoked three cigarettes. I flirted with some guy's girlfriend.

I ordered water from the bar and then refilled the glass with whiskey from my own concealed flask.

I think I drove home with an illegal blood/alcohol level?

I am a bad citizen. I take unfair advantage of liberal return policies. I pretend to be concerned about the homeless. I wish ill fortune on my neighbors.

If life's progress is likened to a train, then I've fallen off somewhere in a wilderness between stops.
----

I was finally able to view the photo of a woman I'd reached the fourth stage with on eHarmony. It was a deal-breaker.

I really can't understand why they waste time concealing their looks. Why not just put it up front? Then at least they'd know that a major factor is already a given when the responses come.

I know how important intelligence and personality are, but it's simply unrealistic to think love and romance don't involve basic physical attraction. Why else would so many beauties leave me alone? I stopped the process, sending her the optional message that "I'm pursuing another relationship."

Unfortunately, it's with a bottle and a keyboard.