It's a shame really, I've been practicing for years now to deal with the so-called midlife crisis by pretending I'm 40 before I actually was. Now, much to the disdain of my conscious and self-esteem, I've been claiming to be 35.

I mean I'm encouraged when those I tell the truth too think I'm lying about my age.

(And no, they're not just being nice, fuck you, you jealous bastard.)

But vanity is such a nuisance! I'm a late bloomer. I haven't had my share of the sexual adventures that everyone else apparently experienced by the time they were 30.

My only consolation is I've contracted no communicable diseases.

Cold comfort when you're sitting alone at a bar next to a couple in love.

The neighbors are yuppie scum, driving Cadillac Escalades and feigning interest in the environment. They purchased a couple of kids as well as a big house from which they evicted ten tenants and then subjected the neighborhood to two years of daily construction noise as they "restored" the historically significant house to it's original splendor.

Now they have a dog out back to protect their property that barks at everything all day. I can't begin to describe the contempt they engender in me. It's impossible to concentrate with a barking dog that rivals a garbage truck in volume.

The boomer generation is the most self-absorbed bunch of hypocrites to ever come down the pipe. I think my neighbors as well as their hero Bill Clinton epitomizes all of it perfectly - precious bastards.

Drinking hot sake and ingesting sedatives. I'm neglecting my chores, the cat needs some more dry food. Don't care. Don't care.

I'm the luckiest man on the planet and I can't even bring myself to open a window.

Filled out some forms on eHarmony, posted a picture. Anything's possible right? But I'm being matched up with women my age! I'm trying to change my birthday in the "about me" section but that doesn't seem to be an option., shit.

The last thing I need is some older broad with three kids and SUV full of emotional baggage. I'm not interested in making up for some other asshole's mistakes. I want to produce a few of my own.

Of course it's an issue right now about the cost of cat food, but I'm on the miner's quest. Long lonely years of digging and privation until at last I hit the motherload and purchase paradise with cash.

Meanwhile it's prozac and booze and organic supplements. And the "hope" (delusion) that makes it possible to rise out of bed. ( in lieu of a full bladder.)

Oops, sorry, I was looking for the Drudge report.

Who on either side of the 'war/no war' argument really gives a damn about the Iraqis?

I don't. At least not anymore than their so-called Arab brothers who're just fine it seems with Saddam's barbarism.

I think most everyone else doesn't either - it's just a stand to make us look good and the other look bad.

I'm not sold on the idea of sacrificing young americans and billions of dollars to afford tribes with a culture and morality still grounded in 15th century a shot at democracy. I don't think they're up to it.

Hell, most Americans aren't really up to it - they're just lucky!

3/26
Awoke early, laid in bed listening to the war coverage. Every statement made by the Whitehouse or Pentagon is characterized as an admission. 'General Myers admitted that the fighting was intense.' It's news right, not a cross examination. It shows the starting point of the 'objective' reporters covering the event.

It's a nasty bunch we're up against. After losing nine marines to an ambush of white flag wavers, I'd certainly change my rules of engagement - I'd shoot a couple of the bunch first just to make sure they're serious.

Something to die for?
Is that what makes a life worth living?
Nobody really wants to die for their country
but some of us are willing
to kill for it.