There's a sexual act called "Blumping".

This act consists of one person giving fellatio while the recipient is having a bowel movement. That's all I know about it. I don't know if a toilet is necessary, some folks are more outdoorsy types.

Now, I know that being "Judgmental" is frowned on these days, but in my opinion, people that engage in this sort of thing are some damn queer ducks!

And that's okay ... We're a tolerant bunch here in LA.

But what really Gaul's me is that if I were wealthy enough, and some "Blumper" or some "Blumpering" couple were willing to go public, I could/would be sued for hurting their feelings!

blump
v. blumped, blump·ing

It hardly gives an impression of the action it denotes. I mean it sounds kind of cuddly doesn't it? It sounds like something out of Winnie the Pooh.

There are all kinds of sex acts, and the more depraved, the cuter the term. But as too the common sex acts that we all like and look forward too, we've the terms "Fucking" and "Cocksucking". What's with that? What is it with American English that we can't come up with better, less offensive terms for what is for most, a daily concern? Our cousins across the pond have a term "shagging" which I rather like, but here in the land of productivity we don't shag around. We Fuck.

Think about it. A typical American couple has to negotiate sexual satisfaction with one term that means "to stab" and the other that's more often than not, an insult.

But when "Blumpers" are communicating it sounds rather pleasant:

"Darling, I can hardly wait until we're blumping again."

"Oh god, blump me! Blump me now!"

By the way, does anybody know what a "Cleveland Steamer" is?